WALL HANGERS
By Corky Carroll
The other day a dude I know showed up at my house with an old vintage surfboard from the early 1960’s. It was in excellent condition. He claimed it was one of those, “the guy only rode it once and it has been in his garage all these years and I got it for almost nothing” kinda deals. Whatever, the board looked really good for being like 45 or 46 years old. Geeze, that really sounds old doesn’t it? Humph! I just wish I was only 45 or 46 years old. I’d still be a spring pup. Ah, to yelp and frolic again and be able to get my other leg in my pants without falling over and busting a hip or something. That would be sweet.
So anyway, this guy is all happy and proud of his vintage surfboard acquisition and we are checking it out all up and down and going like,” wow, it’s really in good condition, very cool,” and stuff like that. I casually ask him where he is going to hang it.
“Hang it? What do you mean hang it? I am gonna ride it. This thing is soooo cool. Just look at those lines, this thing is a classic,” he retorts in a semi offended and lightly indignant sorta manner.
I didn’t wanna bust the guys bubble or anything, he was obviously totally stoked on his board and had visions of some sort of “classic” stylish surfing that he was going to be able to do on this old board, probably just because it was an old board and obviously there must still be some stylish classic surfing left in her. But honestly folks, those old boards were absolute dogs in comparison with todays modern boards. Even the longboards of today are light-years ahead of just about anything that we had in the early 1960’s. Big ol’ round rails and huge skegs. If you wanna call going pretty much in a straight line without a whole lot of speed “classic,” well then maybe you have something. There is a reason why some of the “rad” maneuvers of those days were things like “head dips” and “Hawaiian War God Soul Arches.” They were clunkers. I look back on some of my old boards that I really thought were so progressive, back in “the day,” and just go “ouch.” Thank God the shortboard revolution came along and really stepped up the technology of surfboard design.
But, in all fairness, those old boards make fantastic wall hangers. It’s kinda like a piece of art in a way. Especially if you have a wood one or one in great condition. A totally thrashed faded out old relic with holes all over it might not be the best thing for the living room wall, but a beautiful restored balsa or redwood board looks really cool.
So we went surfing and the guy paddled out on his knees and caught ten waves to my every one. The last time I saw him he was going past me doing spinners and head stands and having a wonderful time.